A personal message from Amanda Goble:
This past weekend at training I read a letter from a father whose daughter just passed away from leukemia last Wednesday. It took everything I had to get through that letter without crying, and was so very moved when I looked up from reading it and I saw many others shedding those tears that I was trying so hard to hold back. I wanted to share that letter again in this email, for those people who weren't at training, and also to remind those who did hear of those words of why we are doing this. We have made incredible strides in the fight against blood cancer but we still have a very long way to go. Rejoice in the stories of survival that you hear, but always remember those who have lost their battles. This is in memory of Noelle Naylor:
My Dear, Sweet BIG Girl,
Tonight is the first night we are trying to sleep without you. We are home, but you are not with us. I am trying and trying to sleep, but I just can't. My heart is shattered without you next to it.
I just can't be without you. These words keep going through my head...."I'll have a blue, blue Christmas without you. I'll be so blue, blue thinking about you..." But really it should be "We'll have a blue, blue Life without out you...We'll be so blue, blue Always thinking about you..."
I can't breathe.
I just keep thinking that we could have done more. Maybe we waited too long to take you to the hospital. Would you still be here is we went a couple of hours sooner? I hope we did not fail you. I am so, so, so sorry.
When you came into this world, we were so overjoyed. You had the most incredible dark hair and unbelievable smile. Now, all I can do is think of that smile and hope that memory never fades.
I can't wait to see you again. I don't know if I can make it until I go to heaven. I feel as if the judge just sentenced me to life in prison. My heart is caged now and may never be free.
You were the most sweet BIG Girl. You tried so hard to always be Happy, even through all the pain this world brought to you. I know now that your pain is gone and that you are in heaven where you deserve to be.
You used to say to me "Daddy, I just want to run," and that you wished you had "long hair." Well, darling, I am sure you are running right now and jumping with your beautiful dark, long hair.
Please know Noelle that you meant and continue to mean so very much to us and that our hearts will never be full without you.
We were there, holding you, when you took your last earthly breath. And we know that when we take our last breath, you will be there with us.
With intense longing to see you again, I pray. I pray that God holds you tightly and allows you to have all that this world could not give you. I pray that you may run and jump and play with the angels completely pain free. I pray that you show off your long, long beautiful hair.
We miss you and will always love you so very much. We are so, so grateful for every moment we had and just feel so, so sad that we have you no longer.
Until we are together again,
Your loving Daddy Kitty
http://www.caringbridge.org/wi/noelle
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